Why embracing vanity can work

We are all too often self-deprecating, seeing the best in others and not ourselves and brush away compliments by saying something like ‘oh this old thing…’

One of the questions I sometimes ask my clients is to suggest 3 adjectives that describe their personality. Without doubt they find this question hard. We are not good at praising ourselves or talking about our attributes and achievements.

Now I’m not advocating being narcissistic to the extent of being totally self absorbed but what I am suggesting is that we need to get better at moving in this general direction.

The right degree of vanity can be a good thing –

it can get you to the gym, make you reach for an apple instead of a piece of cake, encourage you to take more pride in your appearance.

Narcissism generally gets a negative press but the New Scientist suggest that people with ‘good’ or ‘everyday’ narcissism tend to get the jobs at interview and sail into leadership roles. They’re a hit with potential partners and are less likely to be affected by depression and anxiety.

Like most things, it’s about getting the balance ‘right’, too much self-deprecation can be interpreted as lack of confidence, something that we all experience from time to time in our lives. What we should be aiming for is a healthy balance in our self belief – so that’s about having a ‘healthy’ narcissistic trait, one which enables you to promote yourself but with enough empathy and altruism to adjust your self-centered behaviour so that you can demonstrate genuine concern for others.  

What you need to do –

– Embrace both the good and bad bits of your body and not just focus on the negatives.

– Understand that dressing effectively can be likened to an optical illusion. To develop this effectively in your style you’ve got to embrace your body shape warts and all!

Research by Harvard University and others suggests that a narcissistic trait could help you live longer and reduce blood pressure because it’s associated with a positive attitude to life. They demonstrated that by just ‘thinking’ you looked younger, you appeared younger to the observer, particularly if they are the opposite sex – worth noting if you’re in the dating game!

So, remember focus on the compliments not the critical voice we all too often hear in our own heads!

As always, don’t hesitate to get in touch if you need my help!